EPHword

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Psalm 104:1–2 describes God as being clothed in majesty and with light as a garment. I believe that the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden were clothed in this same light—the glory of God. When man sinned, this light was removed. The immediate consequence was the revelation of their nakedness. Before their disobedience, they were “unashamed,” but after eating the forbidden fruit, they became aware of their exposure—and they hid. This moment speaks volumes: sin was committed and nakedness was revealed, not just in the physical sense, but in the spiritual. It uncovers our vulnerability, brings shame, and severs us from the innocence we once knew. God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. Shame brought on from sin convinced them to hide and isolate. This story is all too familiar. These words perfectly describe the pattern of sexual sin. Lust and covetousness is committed first, then comes nakedness, then comes shame and isolation—a vicious cycle.  

From that point onward, human sexuality—once sacred, intimate, and pure—became a battlefield. What was designed by God to be a powerful means of connection has been corrupted into a source of shame, exploitation, and addiction. At the root of all sexual sin is a broken view of nakedness, and therefore, a broken understanding of our sexuality.

The Divine Design of Sexuality

Sexuality is not just a biological function or a physical drive. It is the divine part of the human soul that is designed to connect to another soul. It’s a gift from God—a central part of what it means to be human. It reflects intimacy, covenant, vulnerability, and trust. But for many of us, this part of our being has been wounded. Whether through trauma, abuse, premature exposure, or cultural distortion, our sexuality often becomes something we either fear or idolize.

In today’s world, sexuality has been pulled into two extremes: either it is hidden in shame and taboo, or it is exposed, cheapened, and paraded without reverence. There is rarely a healthy balance. The Church often avoids the topic, and the culture exploits it. As a result, many grow up with confusion, guilt, and dysfunction surrounding one of the most sacred aspects of their being.

When God’s Design is Damaged

Sexual immorality—including pornography, masturbation, abuse, and distorted attraction—damages this sacred design. Any early exposure to sexual content, or experiences of trauma, twist the soul’s understanding of intimacy. These moments create misalignments in how we connect, trust, and relate.

Imagine a plug and an outlet. Both are designed to connect and allow power to flow. But if either the plug or the outlet is damaged—bent, broken, or burned—the connection doesn’t work properly. It may spark. It may cause harm. So it is with our sexuality. If our soul’s ability to connect has been damaged, all of our relationships will suffer.

The Culprits 

Pornography plays a central role in this breakdown. Porn is an evolving addiction. Our brains are affected by it in similar ways to conventional drugs. What was once isolated to magazines and video stores has escalated exponentially in the age of the internet. We have a crisis of humanity reaching apocalyptic proportions. With the invention of the smartphone, every person has an unlimited source of ‘heroin’ in their pocket. 

Pornography is idolatry. The Old Testament translates “idol” as tselem (צֶלֶם) which literally means image. What is porn if not a worship or devotion to an image? The human body (the image of God) has become an idol—a shrine to which patrons sacrifice. This image has been perverted. For example, the breasts of a woman were divinely crafted for comfort and nourishment. Every child is nurtured at the breast of their mother, cradled in warmth and safety. The primal attraction to breasts originates not in lust, but in the innate desire for comfort and connection. Tragically, this has been inappropriately sexualized preying on individuals seeking that comfort and connection. The sacred has been profaned. Exploitation in media and pornography has reduced the female form to its biological functions and stripped the dignity of daughters of God.

The New Testament takes this idea further. Every instance of “sexual immorality” in the New Testament comes from the Greek word porneía (πορνεία). This is the root word of pornography. By this definition, porn doesn’t refer only to images or videos, it refers to any and all forms of sexual behavior that fall outside of God’s covenant design. Pornography is not harmless entertainment. It dehumanizes the soul, trains the heart in lust, and rewires the brain to seek selfish gratification instead of mutual covenant.

Likewise, masturbation—though often dismissed as harmless or natural—misuses our sexuality. If sex is designed to bond us with another, then using it for self-gratification is a distortion of its purpose. It becomes self-centered intimacy, which over time, can dull our ability to truly connect with a significant other.

Consider this metaphor: a man owns a powerful sports car but never drives it on the road. Instead, he revs the engine in the garage for pleasure. It’s loud, it’s thrilling—but it doesn’t go anywhere. When it is time to drive the car on city streets and obey the traffic laws, it’s less thrilling, not as loud, not as fun. Fantasy trumps reality. Over time, this ‘garage racing’ can damage the engine and risks carbon monoxide poisoning. So too, misusing your sexual drive in isolation damages the equipment, poisons the soul, and distorts reality. It is sex that goes nowhere. It is power turned inward, not outward in love and connection. 

What makes sexual sin so uniquely damaging is that the pleasure and dopamine release come internally, not from an external substance. Sexual addiction, unlike drug or alcohol abuse, rewires the soul through its own God-designed mechanisms of pleasure, bonding, and vulnerability. It’s more than addictive, it is compulsive and requires little to no effort to achieve. Wounding the core of one’s own humanity has never been quicker, cheaper, and more easily accessible with no other influence than an internet connection.

Last and certainly not least, Sexual abuse in any form and at any age is utterly catastrophic to one’s sexuality. Destroyed is their ability to trust, connect, and form healthy bonds with others—even non-sexual relationships. This is one of Satan’s greatest evils. An act that takes literally seconds to commit produces a lifetime of trauma. The devil’s return on investment to steal, kill, and destroy is ungodly in every sense of the word.  

There IS Hope!

Healing is possible when we recognize what part of us needs to be healed. It is not just the addictive behavior that must change. It is not just about finding the right partner to love and love you back and then everything will be better. Often the behaviors are just symptoms of the trauma. We often are looking for love, connection, and intimacy in all the wrong places. 

“. . .the young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.” ― Bruce Marshall

These broken parts of the soul are what must be restored and God is the source of that restoration. We must allow God to heal our sexuality, not just our sinful patterns. God is the creator of our sexuality for heaven’s sake. Sex was His idea! There is not a thing you have done or a thought you have had that is shocking or a surprise to God. We must invite Him into that most sacred space and allow Him to restore what sin, abuse, and culture has devastated. 

This begins by:

• Acknowledging that sexuality is divine and sacred.
  
• Recognizing where it has been wounded—whether through trauma, addiction, or confusion.
  
• Renouncing counterfeit expressions of sexuality—pornography, lust, masturbation, fetishes, homosexual attraction, aberrant sexual behavior, etc.
  
• Rededicating our sexuality to God and to the service of His Kingdom.
  
• Continual healing through prayer, accountability, biblical truth, and where needed, professional counseling.
  

When God heals our sexuality, He restores our ability to connect—to experience covenantal love, emotional intimacy, and holy desire. Our relationships begin to reflect heaven again, not just in behavior, but in the deep currents of the soul.

I highly recommend The Prayer for Sexual Healing offered by Wild at Heart Ministries

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Conclusion

Sexuality is not shameful—it is sacred. But when it is misused, it can become a source of profound pain and dysfunction. We live in a world that has forgotten how to honor this gift, but God invites us to recover it—not by pretending sex doesn’t matter, but by realizing just how much it does.

Let us seek healing. Let us call our sexuality what it truly is: a divine, soul-level design meant to bond us in love, covenant, and joy. And let us offer it back to the One who made it, trusting that He can restore what sin has broken.