EPHword

**note** I recently had a friend of a friend take his own life. When texting my friend to encourage him, words just came out that I have never spoken before. They felt divinely inspired. So I wrote this based on those words.

In the forest of the human soul, wildfires of pain, grief, fear, and sorrow can rage through us. They consume our thoughts like flames through dry timber—devouring joy, peace, and hope in their path. Many, in desperation, try to fight this fire with more fire. They pour on the accelerants of anger, lust, greed, substance abuse, violence, or even self-harm, hoping somehow to quench the burn.

Fire doesn’t extinguish fire.

The Illusion of Medicating with More Brokenness

A thirsty man lost at sea will drink saltwater in desperation, unaware that every gulp draws him closer to death. Desire for connection devolves into lust. When that doesn’t satisfy today, we just do it all over again tomorrow. Greed promises wealth but delivers emptiness; your solution: more greed. Violence breeds more violence. Drugs numb the pain only long enough to deepen the despair. Those who contemplate ending their lives already feel as if a vital part of them has already died—their spirit, their hope, their soul—they then think ending their physical life to match is the solution.

As the old quote goes: “Hurt people hurt people.”

The solution to pain is NOT more pain. This is not healing. This is giving in to the storm rather than seeking refuge in the One who still calms it.

Light Doesn’t Come from the Fire—it Comes from Above

The Bible does not ignore pain; it enters into it. The shortest verse in Scripture is powerful beyond its two words: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). The Son of God stood beside a grieving family and cried. Not because He lacked power to heal, but because He had a heart to feel.

We serve a God who is “near to the brokenhearted” and “saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). This is not a distant deity but a God who has walked the road of sorrow and offers not a temporary high, but eternal healing.

When we repay pain with pain, lust with lust, sorrow for sorrow,… we stay trapped in the cycle. But Scripture offers another way:

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.” (Romans 12:17)

This includes the evil within—fear, despair, anger, and grief. They are not defeated by diving deeper into darkness. They are overcome by the light.

You Must Not Bear It Alone

One of the enemy’s greatest tactics is isolation. Like a lion separates the weakest from the herd, darkness preys on those who feel alone. But the truth is, you are not alone. You were never meant to carry this weight by yourself.

“Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

God is NOT the author of your suffering. Jesus taught us to pray: “Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 6:10). This tells us plainly: not everything that happens on earth is God’s will. Pain, loss, and tragedy are not His design. He doesn’t cause the fire, but He walks with us in it, like the fourth figure in the furnace (Daniel 3:25).

A Better Fire: The Fire That Heals

There is a fire in Scripture that does not destroy but refines. A fire that burns but doesn’t consume (Exodus 3:2). It is the fire of God’s Spirit.

“He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”
(Matthew 3:11)

This fire purges the poison but preserves the soul. It does not consume your identity, it clarifies it. Like gold refined in the furnace, your heart can emerge purer, stronger, more radiant—if you place it in God’s hands.

From Ashes to Beauty

There is hope. Real hope. Not in another fleeting pleasure or another self-inflicted wound, but in surrendering to the One who made you, sees you, and wants to heal you.

“He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted… to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isaiah 61:1-3)

To anyone reading this who is in the valley of the shadow of death: You are not alone. You are not forgotten. And this is not the end of your story. The road back to life begins with a single act—not of trying harder, not of numbing deeper—but of surrender. Give your pain to the One who bore it already. Give your despair to the One who died to destroy it. Call upon the Name that saves.

Jesus.

He doesn’t just rescue us from death—He resurrects what we thought was dead inside.

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If You’re Struggling Right Now

Please know: you are loved, you matter, and there is help available. God has placed people around you—even this message—as a signpost that you are seen. Reach out to someone. Talk to a friend, a pastor, a counselor, or call a local crisis helpline. The fire you’re facing is not the end—it may be the beginning of something beautiful, if you’ll let the Light in.